The man and the woman walked in the garden, the soft grass embracing their feet. The breeze caressed their naked bodies, mimicking their tender kisses moments before.
“Psst, eat this fruit,” said the serpent. “You’ll be wise.”
“No,” shouted Eve.
Adam smashed the snake’s head with a rock.
“We’re free.”
© Copyright 2019—Present, Jenise Cook, All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
First Published: The Friday Fix on Medium.com (RIP), on 2019 August 2.
Image Credit: Larisa-K on Pixabay.com
The Story Behind this Story
This story was workshopped by members of my online writers community, Scribophile, and once again I experienced a learning curve with writing that “twisty” ending.
First, I enjoyed the writing process. Second, I tried to make it easy on myself by choosing to modify the ending of a familiar story in the Judeo-Christian traditions. Yet again, I learned from critique feedback how important is each individual word in micro fiction. We writers need to make every word count to create a successful tale.
I’m beginning to think writing a novel will be easier, LOL.
Your Turn
I’d love to read your feedback about this story. How do you feel about the ending? Let me know in the Comments below.
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Thank you for reading. Come along on my adventures.
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